The other morning I had to go for my first ever blood test which I was absolutely terrified about, I hate needles/injections & blood, I freak out so I was in a complete state about having to have one. It didn't help that I had to go alone as Dom couldn't get the morning off work to come with me, I'm not usually a baby when it comes to things like this, I'm quite independent but I was genuinely petrified & could have done with a bit of support! Anyway, this resulted in me having one of the worst panic attacks to date, usually my panic attacks are quite mild but this one completely wiped me out. As soon as I stood up to leave the Nurse's room I knew I wasn't feeling right, a mixture of having blood taken, seeing the blood in the little canister & generally being anxious about the whole situation really overwhelmed me. I ended up losing my vision almost entirely, my sight went blurry very quickly which was really frightening & I also felt like I'm going underwater. I hate going underwater after having a near death experience when I was younger & almost drowning but when I have my really bad panic attacks I always seem to feel the effects of being underwater, it's very strange! I couldn't hear properly now & my vision was limited so I ended up tripping over & falling onto some chairs nearby. I was really trying to fight my way through it but I honestly felt like I was going to die & nobody in the waiting room seemed to notice me, or so I thought.. I ended up sitting on the chairs bent over trying to calm down & get my breathing back to normal but it wasn't working. After what felt like a lifetime my vision started to come back so I went to the toilets to splash my face with water as I had also had one of those strange cold sweat moments, grim. I was literally as white as a ghost & I'm already pale enough, I'd never seen myself look that pale before. I still wasn't feeling quite right & ended up sitting on the floor, something I'd never do as I find the whole idea really unhygienic but I didn't care, I just needed to try control my breathing! I thought I had only been in there 2 minutes but a nurse ended up coming to check on me as a patient had mentioned I'd looked really unwell & been in the toilets a while. I'm so thankful someone came to see if I was okay, it's awful feeling like that in a situation where you think no one will help.
Anyway when I'd managed to get myself home, had some proper breakfast & a nap I realised it was a lovely day, the sun was shining & it felt like Spring was here. I decided to take Tilly on a walk through the village to enjoy the sunshine & get some fresh air. It was so nice I couldn't resist taking a few photos of the pretty flowers & blue skies. It really cheered me up, it's amazing what the Sunshine can do to your mood! Of course Tilly had to be a little monkey & eat the plants off the wall, she's always eating something! We ended up meeting her favourite doggy friend, Bertie the French Bulldog. I honestly swear those two are in love, they really hate saying bye to each other & Tilly actually cries as he walks away, he keeps turning to look back it's so so cute!!